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Should I lie to you?

By Arthur Webster of Ask Old Coot

Puzzles are things that we live with and create for others but hardly ever recognise them.

A favourite pass time of mine is jig saw puzzles. Unlike everybody else that I have watched, I don't select a piece and try to fit it into the puzzle, trailing it around the perimeter of 'open' pieces. My visual recall is so good (years of practice describing things for my Dad, I suppose) that I can look at the space from which a piece is missing and then find that piece in the box.

I prefer puzzles that do not have a picture so that I have no preconceived ideas about what goes where but still can complete a 5,000 piece puzzle in less than five hours.

Isn't it sad that there are non-physical puzzles that cannot be solved so easily? The biggest puzzle of my life is that people are so duplicitous. To see someone say something behind my back that he/she would never say to my face has me wondering if my whole approach to life is simply wrong.

I don't have many followers here and they are all relatively new so I would like to ask a question or two.

If you follow me, would you have followed me if I had totally fabricated my profile and then agreed with or applauded every single bit of intel that I screened?

If you don't follow me, is that a deliberate choice based upon the fact that you don't agree with or like much of what I say or have you never heard of me before?

The chances are that I will lose my sight because I refuse to take the advice of people around me to abandon my two dogs and return to the UK to be a scrounger. I am still trying to solve my problems for myself but instead of being aided or ignored, I am being criticised.

Life is such a puzzle but there are many times when I feel that I can do nothing right for doing everything wrong and yet, even if I had a picture to help me solve this puzzle, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like it.

How I sometimes look back at the post war era and wonder what happened. My childhood years were spent in abject poverty and yet I was so much better off than I am today because I knew that, no matter what happened, I lived in and was part of a community that cared about every last member. The support structure was phenomenal.

PUZZLE - How did we destroy it?

Arthur, as you know, I frequently disagree with you. But from just reading the comments that you get from your articles, it is clear to me that you have a lot of people here that respect you. Agree or disagree, your articles are thought-provoking. Some make me crazy... BUT they are thought provoking - that translates to quality intels. I always "try" (that is to say that I am not perfect with this) to rate intels on quality -- not on whether or not I agree with someone.

As for the people around you that want you to move back to the UK... A problem that many of us have is trying to define the difference between advice given that gives death to our dreams, and that which contains (at least some) wisdom. Only you, upon honest reflection can answer that question.

Look... I grew up in an atmosphere that precluded the taking of any risk. It was always "Well what if THIS happened?" My Dad was verbally abusive and my Mom was afraid of life itself. This is why I am so adverse to what I consider to be negativity. It doesn't allow you to accomplish anything. But I still need to look at the world for what it is and work around it. Having said that, being positive does not mean to preclude looking at cold hard facts. But there's a balance -- somewhere.

Believe it or not, lots of people here wish you well and hope that things get better for you.

But just like you reserve the right to disagree with us on issues, we reserve the same right.

We all have different opinions, and I'm sure that you will get some regarding this intel. But other than giving advice, I don't know what else we could possibly do to help.

After careful, reasonable, and considered reflection, do whet you feel is the right thing. We are all faced with that situation. What else can we do?

Thanks James,

I am staggered by the lack of real community that surrounds so many of us. Here on the Costa del Sol I am used to people 're-inventing' themselves because they have such low self esteem that the truth is no longer recognised.

As I said, in my younger years everybody that I knew lived within and was an integral part of a caring community. We all knew each other, warts and all! I was very much in the upper echelon because I was educated and was able to speak to authority figures BUT I was no more and no less a member of the community than the acknowledged villain who would steal from only wealthy people.

I miss this sort of community. We had our local police officer who would enforce such laws as we, the community, wanted to be enforced but he would also allow reasonable leeway in the community enforcing its own 'laws'.

I do not feel that anybody from the UK or USA now actually belongs to a community. While I see that they will come together to help some remote disaster area because of the appeals in the press and on TV, they are not aware of the small disasters taking place in the house next door. It is only a couple of months, for example, since a young lady was murdered in the apartment immediately beneath mine. None of us in the block had ever spoken to her - and I had only said 'Hello' a couple of times on the stairs.

The missing piece of the puzzle - community.

Arthur, I just take the view that everyone is entitled to their own opnion. I followed you because I liked some of your Intels. But to be honest I doubt if any one of us writes Intels that everyone else always really likes, myself included, hence the voting system. So, what you are is what you are, and I appreciate the time you take to comment on my Intels, whether you agree with them or not. I'm really sorry about your eyesight problems, though I'm not quite understanding why they might be resolved (if I read that part right), if you came back to the UK?

Far from being resolved if I returned to the UK, the problem with my eye sight would be made worse by the deliberate policies of the immigration service.

I have been told that upon my return to the UK I will be treated like any other WHITE immigrant and receive no medical assistance for at least six months except as a paying private patient.

The freedom to express your own opinions is a part of the puzzle that I do not understand because, if you do, you stand the chance of being subject to a remarkable degree of opprobrium because some people think that this right is best exercised by being negated.

It is almost as if someone has created a new card in the game - 'do not express a contrary opinion or go straight to jail'. A lot has to do with the current fashion of being consistent with trends dictated by the degree of ennui generated by the desire to be PC.

It comes down to being afraid to say anything in case it bucks the trend - the realk puzzle is to find what the trend is. It is so elastic that the 1984 thought police could not thwart it.

Arthur -
Try writing an intel that doesn't have a link to your web site. Judging an intel is supposed to be an anonymous process. There isn't supposed to be a community when this is happening - it's supposed to be a judgment based on merit. If I get to the bottom of the intel and there are identifiable links to the author, especially one that I know, I feel as though I have to pull out of the rating process.

Would I follow you based on a fabricated profile? I sometimes follow people based on the composition of their profile picture and how it makes me feel. If your lifestyle is different or independent, it's a plus.

I reread your profile and remember thinking how odd it was to see it written in the third person.

If you are down on your luck and have been for many years, almost everyone feels that they have a right to comment and that they could have done better than you. These are usually the same people who are ruthless about burying the problems that exist in their own families.

As far as the sense of community dying off over the years, yes it has. The goal of personal freedoms got in the way. The right to be different without people judging you. The right to live your life as you see fit without being judged by a community of people and forced to conform. You really can't have it both ways.

That's an interesting point about links - especially since the invitation to apply a link is part of the intel submission process.

Although I titled this 'should I lie to you' the point I have tried to make has been missed.

When I listen to conversations around me I am staggered by the way the opinions of some people are coloured by what they seem to think the other people want to hear.

It seems to me that nobody says what they mean any more or that they change their opinions every time they open their mouth.

Surely I am not the only person to be puzzled by this?

You bring on discussion, once again, Arthur.
In answer to your title,"No you shouldn't", not to me, as I wouldn't lie to you. We're both too old to be involved with childish lying.
I checked my records and found that I started following people on Qondio on 12-08-2009. I commented on your intel,"Luck-or lack of it" on 12-21-2009 and I started following you on 12-19-2009.
My comment on your intel was "Keep up the good work", which I meant then and still do.
You are "The Old Coot", and your words about life are respected, appreciated,disagreeable and you have earned the right to speak your mind.
I don't want a yes man, I want honest opinions, even if it hurts my opinions.
Thank you for your comments, may they be there for many years to come.
Best to you.
Frederick

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